Learning took a back seat this week.
My much loved aunt passed away suddenly on the 18th July and I have been left with an overwhelming sense of loss. Her funeral fell into Week 30 and both weeks merged into one. I haven’t been able to write a blog since that time hence we are so far behind and slowly catching up. The days have seemed so much longer and has been difficult to sleep. In those first few weeks every waking minute was dominated with thoughts about her.
My parents arrived from UK, and my cousin and his family from Canada, for Pam’s funeral service. It was happening so fast. Aunts, Uncles and Pam’s sisters arrived from Cape Town, friends and more family from Durban. We all gathered to pay our respects to a loving wife, mother, aunt, friend and work colleague. My uncle asked if I would be one of the people who would say something about Pam at her funeral service. I tend to avoid public speaking like the plague and felt I would not be able to carry off what was required of me. However on the day of the funeral, with some moral support from family, I knew it was something that I wanted to do for Pam. Here is what I said. This is for you Pam …
Pam was special. She was my aunt in name yet my friend in reality. She had that unique blend of joy for life coupled with a deep compassion for those she loved. Through all the laughter shared she was one of the few people I could share my deepest thoughts with. She found life easier than most, but that’s not to say she didn’t have her own problems along the way, yet she was able to laugh off most situations that came her way.
Pam loved her family. It is a rare gift to see the love shared between a husband and wife as was shared between B and herself. They adored each other. In the last few weeks she was blooming and I heard B say to her that she looked beautiful. After being together for nearly 50 years that is something special. Her children R and M brought her so much joy, this is a close family. She simply adored her grandchildren, if one of them was in the room everything would pale by comparison.
When I went through my darkest hours it was to Pam I turned, she stood by the people she loved. Everyone of my friends in the UK knows of Pam, even if they have never met her personally or stepped on African soil. She was that important to me. I borrowed her sewing machine once, on a kind of permanent loan. It needed mending so I took it to be serviced and left it there. Pam never got angry with me, she just teased me about it. She accepted and loved people for who they were, warts and all. When I was taken in by a street beggar, feeling a little used, she was the first person who said whatever his story, it really doesn’t matter, he was begging because he needed help. Pam had some strong views, and so do I, we didn’t agree always. Yet that never affected our relationship.
Some of the funniest moments in my life were shared with Pam. The time we went to martial arts with B and got kicked out for being disruptive, because we couldn’t stop giggling. Then there was the time B was being slowly poisoned by arsenic, placed in the sugar at the site he worked at. Both Pam and I got the giggles at the thought that someone was out to do harm to B – it was so absurd. I think B was a little upset at our light hearted take on the situation; luckily he had G who came to his rescue. Then a few years ago when B went into hospital, on a visit I pointed out a button on his hospital bed and asked Pam what it was for. She leant over and pulled it – poor B went flying back. We got such giggles – needless to say I was banned from visiting.
I am going to miss Pam desperately, she has left a gaping hole in my life. I still can’t believe she is gone. I feel blessed to have known her and to have had her part of my life. I just want to thank her for being my friend and to tell her that I loved her so much.
“It is in your hands to create a better world for all who live in it. Mandela Day will not be a holiday but a day devoted to service” Madiba
It was Mandela’s birthday and he asked everyone to give something to the poor. So mom and I got four bags of Millie meal and four tins of tomato & onion sauce and gave it to four poor people. It’s not a lot but if everyone did something little there would be less poor people in the world. I think Mandela is right.
I went to my modern dance class it was very nice, it was only a week till the exam (scary), then after modern I went back home and had the projects morning with my homeschool friends. I am really doing well with my hay bale house it sort of looks like a small version of a house now waiting to be plastered, he he. That night dad taught me really cool stuff on PowerPoint showing me how to animate on it and stuff, it was awesome he he. I spent all evening playing around with it.
I wrote some of my eBook and read it out loud to mom, I think it’s doing ok he he.
Mom read aloud several chapters of Seekers of the Lost Boy to me, I am loving the book he he
I had my music lesson. I’ve learnt a new song to sing something about Buckingham palace. Also I learnt a few new songs in the piano it was really fun he he.
I played loads of Minecraft.
When I woke up on Friday morning mom came into the room asking me to get ready for homeschool ice-skating. I said that I didn’t feel like it and she said ok I could stay home with P our domestic worker, she left my bedroom. A few minutes later I heard mom crying very loud, I first thought she was laughing, but then she came into my room and sat down on my bed and said “Pam has died” (my mom’s aunt). The first thing I thought was ‘she can’t be’ then I cried. It was the saddest moment of my life. I loved Pam so much she was so kind, I am so sad. I am so sad for B (her husband)
The following day mom told me that my grandparents, my cousin once removed and her family were coming over from abroad, for Pam’s funeral. It was exciting to see them but the reason they came was for not a good reason but a very sad one.
We got up early in the morning to go to the airport to fetch my grandparents and to see my cousin, it was nice when everyone arrived I saw my cousin and everyone else, when they arrived everyone started crying and hugging, but life moves on sadly.